Poopsy the Killer 3: Breakfast at Slenderman's
It was morning, the trees stood tall as the wind gently blew. In the deep woods stood a large mansion surrounded by trees so the government couldn’t find it. As the wind blew in the deepest, darkest depths of the woods you could almost make out the sound of a voice howling through the breeze. It sounded like the faint sound of a low, ominous voice saying “poopsy”… Poopsy the Killer 3: Breakfast at Slenderman’s It had been a whole week since Poopsy had been invited to the Slendermansion and her and all the boys were having breakfast. Poopsy was happily eating her chicken nugget tacos, a grey boy called eyeless jack was eating a kidney and a blonde boy who looked like Link but was called Ben was eating cereal. The other side of the table there was a shy brunette in a mask named Masky was eating a large helping of cheesecake whilst blushing, he sat next to Toby who was eating lots of waffles and was really random. Slenderman sat at the head of the table peacefully enjoying the morning atmosphere. Suddenly their dining was interrupted by the sounds of a large roaring engine. It sounded like someone was driving in circles outside the mansion. “That damn boy” Slenderman stood up walking over to the front door. He opened it and saw Jeff ominously riding his motorbike round in circles. Poopsy pushed her face against the window, drooling with her mouth open as she gazed at his bike. “Glad you could finally make it Jeffrey” Slenderman said putting his hands on his hips. “Oh I bet you are” said Jeff as he jumped off the bike and strutted inside, tossing his jacket onto the coat rack. “Morning boys” he said to the other boys before turning to Poopsy, “morning Poops” he smirked. “Hello little boy” she smiled back, “we meet again”. “Ain’t nothing little about it” muttered Jeff as he filled up his mug with coffee. “So how’s my princess?” smiled Jeff taking a sip. Poopsy put her hands on her hips and leaned her body slightly to the right in a cool pose, “I’m no one’s princess. I’m a feminist”. Slenderman sat back down, looking across at the rest of the table “I for one think its nice to finally have us all together for breakfast for once” he said “no lost loved ones, no grande finales and battles to the death, just a genuinely nice slice of life” he smiled but he didn’t have a face but it was just sort of implied. “A-And with our newest family member P-Poopsy here with us things have never been b-better” said Toby as he ate another waffles. The waffles were well cooked with a golden brown syrup on top of them. The syrup glistened in the light of the room. “don’t be silly Toby” said Poopsy, “I am nobody I am a shadow, a forgotten memory if you will” she said poetic looking out the window. Everyone at the table gasped and all said at once “poopsy you are the sweetest girl we ever know, you just have a really big heart and love too much and sometimes that gets you into trouble but it is only because you have such a good heart and special mind you are purer” “Thanks boys” said Poopsy as she sat back in her chair “I just wish I could see what you see in me”. She got up and walked off into other room alone with thoughts. “Poor Poopsy” said Masky “it seems she analyses situations well but now because of her character development she is overanalysing situations”. Jeff smacked his lips up and down, “good coffee” he said “real good coffee” he tossed some change on the table and headed outside for his bike. “Just where to you think you are going?” said slenderman angrily. “you’ve been riding around brooding on that bike for days and now that you’ve come back home your just leaving us again?”. “Yes” said Jeff “that is what I am doing”. “I know that’s why I said it” said Slenderman as he picked up jeffs jacket from the coat rack “can’t ride your bike without your jacket” he teased. Jeff angrily jumped up and down, “give me my jacket!” “No” said slenderman causing jeff to come back inside and angrily punch a wall. Poospy was in the other room but heard of all this and rolled her eyes and said “oh boys”. She walk into the room and said “jeff you need to stay slenderman was worried sick about you out there” “ok said jeff I understand” “I also understand” said slenderman. “it seems that we really needed to just be honest with eachother. Thank you for helping us Poopsy” they both said. “That’s what I do” said Poopsy “I help…but I cannot help myself”. Tears came down from her eyes as she twirled around to hide her teary face. “now if you wouldn’t mind I think I’d like to finish my tacos”. “Poopsy..” slenderman said, “those tacos have gotten very cold now”. “its ok” said Poopsy “anything that brings me joy in life is just a distraction anyway”. Suddenly a big clown came downstairs it was laughing jack and he lived in the mansion too and he said “poopsy you have to go and face your problems…or they will come and face you” he then went back upstairs. “s-sir!” cried the timid masked boy with the compensating sideburns, “there is a threat in the woods, I believe it maybe the minions of…he who awaits behind the wall”. “I like minions” said Toby. “As do I” said Slenderman, “but this is really serious, what on earth would….he who awaits behind the wall want?” Eyeless Jack and Ben both looked at each other, “is it really…him? Is it really…he who awaits behind the wall?” they both said in shock. “If Zalgo shows his dirty face around here I’ll wreck him” said Jeff as he stabbed a knife into the table to show how serious he was. Poopsy slapped Jeff in his lavish face, “DO NOT EVEN SPEAK OF…..he who awaits behind the wall’s NAME AROUND HERE” she snapped. Slenderman looked at her, shocked by her ominous energy, “ok Poopsy look I appreciate the enthusiasm but you can settle down a little”. “You don’t understand…” she said in an ominous and mysterious way, “I…don’t like to talk about it” she whimpered (but not in a cowardly way in a brave but deep and troubled way) as three tears came down from each of her eyes, glistening in the moonlight. Everyone looked at her troubled soul and felt really sorry. “It’s ok Poopsy” said Slenderman wiping her tears away, “I know what happened on Christmas Eve when you were just a kid”. Jeff flipped his hair out of his eyes before standing up, “I’m not just going to sit around like this” he grunted as he put on his jacket and went to get his motorbike. “sit down boy” said Slenderman “we need a plan of action here, something your overabundance of testosterone couldn’t comprehend” Jeff looked Slenderman straight in the face as he pointed at him and muttered “your nonfulfillment is your own idiosyncratic deficiency, old man”. Slenderman could only stare at him in silence as Jeff left the mansion by himself. “Don’t listen to him boss” said Masky as he ate a slice of cheesecake, “that boy is nothing but trouble”. “I’m sorry I just need a moment alone to process this” said Slenderman. “ok everyone give the big guy some space” said Masky as he cleared the room. This was clearly serious business. Jeff was roaring as he road fast on his motorbike he was full of ominious rage and could not be contained suddenly he heard a popping noise and the bike stopped and he flew off it and hit into a tree. Gasping he looked behind him and saw an elaborate trap was set out and someone had put some nails in the woods to burst his tires. Jeff was in one piece but he had sprained his ankle really bad and couldn’t get up. He frantically looked around reaching for his knife in his pocket but he couldn’t find it all he could find was a scrunched up piece of paper. He opened it slowly and it was revealed to be an old photgraph of him and slenderman together with the word “family” printed on the bottom. He shed a single tear, “how could I be so blind? I left the one person who was there for me”. His lament was brought to a halt by laughter, the laughter of a mean girl… Meanwhile Slenderman was still taking some time to calm down from the mean things said to him. Poopsy was with masky and ben and eyeless jack and toby trying to work out a plan to stop the threat in the woods. “we have to stay organised” said masky as he got out charts and paperwork, “I don’t read numbers” hissed eyeless jack as he angrily poked Masky. Toby picked up a hatchet and said “I could use a hatchet”. Poopsy looked at them, all of them were trying but none of them knew how to analyse the situation well. She used her special mind to find a solution, “We need to stop them” said Poopsy. The room was silent as they looked at her before looking back at themselves, “my god she’s got it!” they all said. Slenderman heard and came into the room, “see Poopsy this is why we have you here”. “Just doing what I do” said Poopsy modestly. “Someone has got to got and stop them” said Slenderman “and I think I know who is best suited for this mission” he beckoned towards Poopsy. “Me?” said Poopsy, “you really think I’m ready for my own mission?” “Yes Poopsy” he said putting his hand on her shoulder, “I’m a feminist”. Jeff was screaming frantically waving his arms up and down trying to get up but it wasn’t working, the laughter grew louder and louder as she got closer to him. Jeff huffed and puffed but nothing was working, he had sprained his ankle really bad and it hurt. “Well well well..” she said as she approached, Jeff could now make out her face. “Jane?” he said shocked, “what do you want from me?”. Jane got closer and out of the shadows came her fellow comrades, the rake, bob and dennis. “As Zalgo’s minions it’s our duty to warn the world of his coming first” Jane smiled, “and what better way to make a warning statement than to kill his oldest companion” she pulled out a knife and placed it close to Jeff’s throat. She was about to cut him open when she paused noticing an unfimilar shadow in the woods. “Identify yourself” she yelled like a bitch. “oh I don’t believe we’ve met before” said the shadowy figure, “how about a little ICE BREAKER”. The shadow jumped out revealing herself to be Poopsy as she swung a slab of ice down onto Jane’s head knocking her straight to the floor. Jane held her head in pain before getting back up, “not one for introductions are we?” said Poopsy, “how would you like it if I gave you the cold shoulder?” Poopsy grabbed a shard of ice and jabbed it into Jane’s shoulder causing her to wince in pain. Suddenly Poopsy’s witty remarks were brought to a halt as she slipped on the ice, grabbing a hold of Jane as the two fell over together. Everything felt like slow motion, Poopsy gazed into Jane’s plump black lips, they almost beckoned out to her. For a split second Poopsy could feel like her problems had disappeared, she felt like everything was going to be ok as she stared into Jane’s beautiful, ample lips. The two hit the ground and Poopsy immediately snapped back to reality, “sorry, I didn’t want to rub you the wrong way” she said as she grabbed Jane’s hands and started rubbing them into the blade of her knife causing Jane to cry in pain as she stumbled back up to her feet. Jane looked at her hands to see that the skin had been entirely cut off revealing her red, bloody flesh. “Looks like someone’s been caught red handed” said Poopsy as she pushed Jane over and grabbed a large rock off the ground. Jane submissively looked up at Poopsy, Poopsy was about to throw the rock onto Jane’s face before she stopped herself. Poopsy had seen her own reflection in a nearby puddle, she saw how she looked holding a rock she was about to throw onto someone’s face. She had become the one thing she set out to destroy. Poopsy tossed the rock down away from Jane and picked her back up, “go” she said reluctantly. “Thank you” said Jane as she and the rest of Zalgo’s goons ran off into the woods. Jeff got back up and limped over to Poopsy, “we did it!” he said. Slenderman was pacing back and forth inside the mansion, “I’m so worried for her but at the same time I know I shouldn’t because I believe she’s a strong independent girl” he said to himself. “I hope she’s ok but not because I think she’s less competent than any of us I just want to be a father figure to her but not in a creepy way because I genuinely care about her”. Masky approached him “if it really is…he who awaits behind the wall, then I fear we are in grave danger” he said. “Ok but that doesn’t really help my anxiety right now” snapped Slenderman before he noticed two figures through the window approaching the mansion. Jeff and Poopsy arrived at the front of the mansion, Jeff’s face was full of sorrow as he struggled to push the remainder of his beloved bike. Poopsy carried the bike’s now detached saddle, she stared deeply at the soft, black leather. It almost looked like a pair of plump black lips. She was distracted by Slenderman’s calling out to them. “You did it!” he happily called, “I knew you would and I didn’t doubt you but I am still pleased you did it”. Just then a swirl of smoke came out from the trees causing them all to run inside and slam the door shut. “What was that?” said Slenderman. Poopy sighed, “if ...he who awaits behind the wall sent out his minions that was just warning and it means he is also coming too”. “What would he want from us?” Slenderman said, “he’s never disturbed us like this before, what has our humble little mansion added recently that he could possibly want?” Poopsy sighed again, her special mind analysed the situation and she knew exactly what he wanted. She looked back at the room she stood in, surrounded by the faces of boys huddled together in fear. She opened the door and stepped outside, closing it behind her. The smoke spiralled around, forming a large demonic figure. Slenderman looked out the window in fear, “Zalgo…” he muttered. Zalgo looked down at the young girl who approached him, the howling of the wind began to develop into the demon’s voice. “Hello Poopsy…” he spoke. Poopsy raised her head and looked him dead in the eye. “Hello….father”. Category:Crappypasta Category:Slenderman Category:Jeff The Killer